Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

:flirty:
 




The pulsating of my heart has come to a freeze,
The need of love has multiplied in capacity,
You can almost taste the bitterness of ink,
That flow from no where but the center of my heart,
I'll give you this card when Valentine's start.

Valentines and these butterflies have dusted to moths,
I'm giving love a chance and I'm giving it to you,
Under the splinter of sunlight is where you are,
Holding roses for someone else, and I’m so far
Tomorrow, and this card is stashed away, unopened,
I'm never doing this again; I'll leave my heart corroded,
My luck has always been a giant laugh in my face,
Time will pass by and all my efforts will go to waste.

So many years fly, and these moths have eroded to dust,
Today is February 14th and Valentines means nothing,
But I found a card this morning, that was stashed away unopened,
I tore the envelope with care and read my feelings with sincerity,
And inside was a message that was meant for me only,
It said, I love you and I always hope you're happy,
It told me I was beautiful and that I shine brighter than all stars,
At the end read, "Dear You, I hope you love me too."

As I whispered out loud, "I do. I love you too."
©2007-2009 ~DrownedNRisen
:icondrownednrisen:

Author's Comments

I had to cut it down for the poetry contest since the maximum words I can use is 225, see the deviation before this one to read the original.

And like I said, the best love is the one you can give to yourself.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE PHOTO IS FROM. I LOVE IT AND I AM USING IT. .... BUT IT'S NOT MINE THAT IS FOR SURE...IF ANYONE KNOWS WHO IT'S FROM, PLEASE TELL ME SO THAT I MAY CREDIT HIM/HER

Comments


love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icontrelore:
Beautiful and I see only one mistake. Here is the line mistake is in. "Today is February 14th and Valentines mean nothing," Mean should be means.

--
Also if you enjoy good poems or stories come join us. At Me and my Friends Writing Club. Located here>[link]
:icona-moonless-night:
So nice :). I like it :D.

--
When I kiss you like a lover
That is when we discover
We are burning in the fire
This love will never tire
~Papa Roach
The Fire
:icontrelore:
your so welcome

--
Also if you enjoy good poems or stories come join us. At Me and my Friends Writing Club. Located here>[link]
:icondgenreteliterabbit:
very beautiful and well written! excellent job!

--
RUN, rabbit, run
dig that hole, forget the sun
and when at last the work is done
don't sit down, time to dig another one

steps taken forward
and sleepwalking back again...
encumbered forever by desire and ambition
:iconhiddencaitastrophe:
Hmm.. this is a very intriguing poem dear. One thing I would suggest- you have a great deal of passive voice here. I.E. "need of love has multiplied" I'd suggest shifting to active voice to give it that much more strength and movement. I.E. "The need for love mulitplies in capacity"

Just a thought.. but one I think would make this poem go from excellent to simply spectacular!

--
The Matchbox Twent Madness Contest has begun!

For details and updated prize listings, go here: [link]


BTW, I'm now a senior admin for *TheWritersMeow
:iconmdog02:
This poem is so sad, so bittersweet. I'm deeply moved.

--
my mom's page

support artists! I mean it!

“i wish coke was still cola
and a joint was a bad place to be”
-merle haggard
:icondrownednrisen:
Thank you so much :] :hug:

Details

February 11, 2007
1.4 KB
40.5 KB
300×329

Statistics

33
9 [who?]
260 (0 today)
2 (0 today)

Site Map